What Every Parent Should Know Before Giving Their Child a Phone

An easy checklist to save you stress, arguments, and surprise data charges.

Giving your kid their first phone is a big deal. It’s freedom, connection, responsibility, and also memes, sketchy group chats, and the potential for 3AM TikTok scrolling.

Whether they’re 8 or 14, the goal is the same: set expectations before the chaos starts.

Here’s a practical, no-guilt checklist to help you cover your bases before you hand over the device and hope for the best.

The Pre-Phone Checklist

1. Set Up the Tech First

Do this before they get their hands on it.

☐ Enable parental controls (Screen Time for iOS, Family Link for Android)

☐ Restrict app downloads and in-app purchases

☐ Turn on location sharing (for you) and hide location (from strangers)

☐ Set up a shared Apple ID or Family Sharing/Group to manage access

☐ Install security tools (e.g., Bark, Norton Family, or Google SafeSearch)

Bonus: Mute all notifications after 9PM by default. Your future self will thank you.

2. Talk Through the Rules

This is the most important step, and yes, you need to actually say it out loud.

☐ When can they use it? (Not during dinner? Not after bedtime?)

☐ Where can they use it? (Bedroom? School? The car?)

☐ What happens if the phone gets lost, broken, or used inappropriately?

☐ Are photos private or public?

☐ Can they delete messages? (My suggestion: no.)

Pro tip: Put it in writing. A simple family tech agreement makes it way easier to hold boundaries later.

3. Build Digital Literacy

Don’t just block, teach them how to use tech well.

☐ What makes a strong password?

☐ What’s personal info they shouldn’t share?

☐ How do they spot a scam or phishing message?

☐ What do they do if someone sends something inappropriate?

☐ Who can they come to if they mess up?

Your job isn’t to make sure they never mess up. It’s to make sure they come to you when they do.

4. Clean It Before They Touch It

Kids are surprisingly fast at finding settings you didn’t know existed.

☐ Delete default apps they don’t need (Stocks, Wallet, etc.)

☐ Remove any games you didn’t install

☐ Clear browser history and enable Safe Search

☐ Set a custom home screen with only the apps they’re allowed to use

☐ Add emergency contacts and ICE info

5. Ongoing Habits (Set These Up From Day One)

☐ Check the phone together once a week. It makes it normal, not a punishment

☐ Keep chargers out of bedrooms at night

☐ Review new apps before they’re downloaded

☐ Keep the convo open. They should feel safe talking to you about what they see

Final Thoughts

Giving your kid a phone doesn’t mean handing over a miniature black hole of chaos. It can be a powerful tool for connection, learning, and independence if you lay the groundwork first.

And if you’ve already given them one without doing any of this? No shame. Just pick a weekend, sit down together, and start fresh. You’ve got this.

Need help picking a monitoring app or drafting a tech agreement? Contact me and I’ll help you figure it out.